Hey Kids!

We got some new shows coming up! Get Excited! HAHAHHAHAHAH! The Gay Straights!

The Gay Straights' front man Chris Kelly (#8) was featured in a local Vancouver lesbian and gay "bi"weekly, Xtra West. You'll notice that the shot examines Chris' more well-known attributes... and we're not talking about his guitar playing skills.

That's right, my sweet little Candy Canes. The Gay Straights now have their very own world famous Drummer! Former construction worker from his home town of Mexico City, Nick Fabin a.k.a. The Duke has made his way up to the great land of Maple Syrup and La Cross to join the best band of cock rockers in the universe: The Gay Straights!!! As official the Gay Straights Drummer for the year 2007, The Duke has transformed this duo afternoon delight into an all-out, no rules, full-fledged midnight Threesome. Hold yawn breath, men and women of all ages, this guy plays the ass-drums like nothing ever before seen. Come on up and introduce yourself to Nick at the Gay Straights show you attend. Tell him how much he rocks!

Greetings eager The Gay Straights shows beavers! The Vancouver pride dates are posted! More info regarding those massive shows will come soon with the combined powers of time, communication and internet wizardry. But start planning for it now otherwise you may find yourself in a bitch slap fight trying to get a good view of us at the festival… it’s going to be a super-mega-fun-huge turnout!

After a long and arduous audition process, the Gay Straights were selected as one of the lucky bands to perform at the third largest Gay Pride festival in Canada; the Vancouver Pride! Yet another brick has thus been laid in the bridge between Homosexual and Heterosexual harmony! All in a day’s work for the undeniably sexy and revolutionary asses of the Gay Straights. Stay tuned to this extreme website for a listing of Pride Festival show dates.

That's right... YAY!!! Go check 'em out on our videos page. They are from the hot sketch show in Victoria, BC, Atomic Vaudville, which we performed at back in October 2006. Let us know what you think of them, Superfans, by leaving us a note on the Message Board.

The Factory Night at Snap Contemporary Art Gallery was a smash success. Amazing art from the local Vancouver scene was very popular, especially the free-hand absurdist works of Emily Carr graduate Adam Dodd. Our over-the-top set could be compared to that of mating wild hyenas on speed... NoNo Spots, your set made our no-no spots all wet! Gracci!

He sent it! He sent it! We asked him so long ago to send his autographed photo to us, and yesturday it finally made it to the Gay Straights headquarters! Perhaps he'll even show up and sing a tune with us on the May 12th Factory Nights show...

Wow! What a show tis going to be!!! Looking deep into our official "The Gay Straights Crytal Ball of Rock 'n' Roll Tell All" we foresee possibly one of the hippest events on this side of Venus. Art, theatre, music, and, of course, Us, which is a combination of all three. To miss such a show, The Gay Straights Superfans, would be a sin to all true tripple threats, hard core rockers, and most flamboyant of true thebians. Oh, and don't forget the band be are sharing the stage with, The No No Spots... SEXY!!! Need we say more? Just cum. 

During last night's performance at the Softcore Comedy and Burlesque show, we had the pleasure of sharing the stage with Male choreographed dancers, a 30's style strip-tease, and a poli-religious stand-up comedian. The crowd was warma than shwarma! Colin was complimented much about his gargantuan bulge bursting open the fly of his tight, white, female sex pants. Chris was given a standing ovation for his courageous confession about his recently diagnosed Herpes 1. Hope ya'll will have us back again, you crazy Colbalt characters! … props to Paul and his stylish cowboy button-on bib.

Oh yeah, you sexy bitches! Right here, right now, The Gay Straights are making a promise that if anybody wants a dedication yelled out at our next performance, we're GIVIN' IT TO YOU! Just email us before the show date at the email found at the bottom of this page describing what song you want dedicated, who you want it dedicated to, and what makes this special person so special or why the Gay Straights song of choice reminds you of them. We'll be awaiting your emails, Superfans!

Needless to say, Superfans, that Thursday night's UBC charity show for Cystic Fibrosis was a complete success! The Gay Straights set was tighter than a school boy, and their recently committed rose tattoos located with pride in the middle of their chests have taken off in the UBC fashion scene. Turns out that, since Thursday night, any guy or girl on campus with even a drop of fashion sense now sports a rose tattoo as proof of their "with-it-ness." Oh Gay Straights, is there any scene you've penetrated without inspiring utter revolutionary concepts? Prognosis Negative! High-Five Super fans! Whooo-eee! Big shout out to the Ben Sigston Band for such a great set on Thursday night... You guys got rock star moves!

During a recent Gay Straights performance, a miracle occured... As Chris and Colin belted out their opening number, 'I Fell in Love,' the untamed passion in their flaming hearts was let out, thus opening an ancient mysteriously magical Greek portal cloud from the ceiling, dropping an operating fan erectly and directly in front of the Dynamic Duo. It's wind force set to full blast, the buttons on the boys' designer Italian evening blouses were of no match. Courageously, they continued to plow through the hit tune, their manly chests exposed to a captivated (and most likely aroused) audience...

Have you ever heard of a true Irish descendent who was nee manly enough to suck it up and sprout the utter facial stubble of his heritage for the day of St. Pat’s? Nor have we! Hence the reason far the Gay Straights to sport the glory that is our testosterone pumped strips of hair which align our teenage, girly lips. I speak of our new fashionable moustaches. If this isn’t a true dedication to the mass collective of the manliest men that bless God’s green earth then tell us, retorters, WHAT IS??? Thus, The Gay Straights are making a callout to every man, boy, and boy-man-child to grow the finest moustache you can produce on this day of St. Pat’s to make envious those smooth-skinned creatures who have abused our glorious title by adding the prefix “wo” in front of it! Respect only to those anti-phallics who can produce a respectable barb! Happy St. Pat’s to all those with ginger moustaches! Tell the bartenders The Gay Straights sent ya!

Are the rumors true that this sensational rock legend is finally going to supply MUSIC to their millions of fans? Stay posted and your Boy Party dreams will come true sooner than you think....

Hello one and all from the Gay Straights! We finally have our official website and will be adding more content to it as the days dance by. Until then, keep your eyes on the right of this page to keep posted on our upcomming show dates. And if you can't wait until the next show to see us, go to the videos page to see our hot fannies groovin' flamboyantly at our last show. Thanks for visiting and hope to see you at our next Boy Party!!!